Chairs

Since Obama is President chairs are more comfortable

egg wins!

Since Obama is President: The chicken/egg argument is over. Obama declares that egg wins.

Obama Fast Fact

Michelle can knit!

Obama Fast Fact!

Obama Fast Fact:
Barack Obama has never picked his nose.
Ever.
Not once.

touch yourself.

Since Obama is President everyone can touch themselves freely in public.

Friendlier

Since Obama is President people are more friendlier. 

Eating

Since Obama is President you'll never have to eat alone again

Obama loves you

Barack Obama wants you to know that he loves you.

Please send 20 dollars to the re-elect Obama campaign.

Christmas Cards

The Obamas did not send a Christmas card to the Blagojeviches this year as they felt it would not be good to acknowledge the punk ass bitches who made Barry look bad in December.

Brian's Song

As a child Barack was deeply influenced by the film Brian's Song. He once watched it 46 times in a row.

Mortgage payments

At least 2 postal workers have been assaulted in Homosassa, Florida by distraught home owners. The home owners are reportedly baffled and upset that their mortgage payments have not arrived from Obama as expected after the election.