Mabel Stimson

On November 24, 97 year old Mabel Stimson of Nashville legally changed her name to Barack Obama in hopes of obtaining a ticket to the January 20 inauguration. "Now they won't be able to ignore my letters!" she said. "I have my ball gown picked out."

When asked about his wife's name change her husband, Hank, 103, stated "Mabel always liked the colored folks." Then, pausing to reflect, said "Where am I?

Yes! We Can!

Caught up in Obama Fever - employees of Tip Top Food Containers Inc. of Beaumont, Texas voted unanimously to change the name of the publicly owned company to Yes! We Can! Inc.

Lance

LITTLE-KNOWN FACT ABOUT OBAMA: As a child in Hawaii Obama owned a talking African grey parrot named Lance. His favorite expressions were: "You be QUIET!!" and "I must poop."

Snot

Something you may not know about President Obama: Obama's morning eye mucus was collected by former girlfriend, Shelia "Sunflower" Watson-Drobney. She now she sells tiny amounts of it out of the back of her Chevy Impala at swap meets across the Midwest.
Just a quarter booger is said to cure gout, carpal tunnel, the sugar diabetes and mercifully blots out any memory of Andrew Sullivan one might have from television or a gay bathhouse.

Rash

Since Obama is President no one will ever get a rash again.

Morning Sickness

Since Obama is President morning sickness will be moved to 9pm. This is more convenient for pregnant working mums who may already have young children. No nausea in the AM frees up time to get ready for the day, get the kids out the door, and allows for some needed "alone" time before the commute.

Obama is so thoughtful.


To read about the other things that are changing since Obama is President please click HERE.

Orgasms

Since Obama is President all orgasms will last 10 minutes.

Hepatitis

Since Obama is President all the hepatitises will be consolidated into one letter.

Dogs

Since Obama is President dogs will walk themselves.

Slapping

Since Obama is President everyone will get to slap the reality show contestant of their choice.

Extinct

Since Obama is President many extinct species will be rediscovered in various places such as the Iraq and the Finland.

Corns

Since Obama is President no one will ever get corns on their feet again.

Post Office

Since Obama is President all post offices will have free candies.

Hobbies

When Barrack Obama is President everyone will have time for to take up a pleasant hobby.Such as the knitting or the model trains. Forsooth. Anon.